First, let me explain what I'm referring to when I ask this question. As a culture, we implicitly or explicitly teach a model of 'other mind'---that is, a model of how OTHER people think and an estimate of how their internal diplomatic models work. Those models cover things like what sorts of actions or behavior are likely to ingratiate, intimidate, befriend, or embitter the person they are employed on or with.
A pretty crudely summarized version of the diplomatic model that our culture teaches (I won't speak to any other cultures, because I lack sufficient information and experience within them to do them justice) is as follows:
The diplomatic model that most people use is like an integrator. Doing them favors slowly builds up their positive feelings towards you and receiving favors deducts from it, like it was money in a savings account.
This model is fairly simple, easy to understand, and, unfortunately, also nearly 180 degrees from reality. However, it is a fairly good model if you're dealing with fairly non-neurotypical people---e.g. a reasonable fraction of the geek population.
So my question to readers is this: How in the hell did our culture start promulgating such a model? Do the neurotypicals actually think they're non-neurotypical? :-) Or is most of the writing of such topics conducted by the least neurotypical among us, with the exception of such extremely practical literature such as salesmanship training?
On the Dusty Rolling Plains
1 day ago